Open letter to Karen

I will never see her again, but she judged me and trash talked me. So this is the open letter to Karen and anyone like her.

 

Dear Karen,

Our introduction was awkward. You stopped to tell me a whole heap of things, and I asked you to send me an email. You preferred to deal verbally and I said I preferred an email so I wouldn’t forget it, so it would be actioned. 

From that point, you avoided me, bad mouthed me, ensured I was kept out of key meetings and went around me to my staff and senior management.

What you didn’t know, or care to know, is that my once perfect memory hasn’t been reliable for some time. I put it down to fatigue, worked too hard and always tired. I mitigated my career by using emails as reminders, getting people to confirm in writing because they knew and accepted how busy I was and that I didn’t want things to fall through the gap.

you were different. You judged me based on your own values and decided if I couldn’t be trusted to remember, I couldn’t be trusted.

Fatigue. Foggy brain. Forgetting details – a person’s name or a phone number or a quote, all normal. My normal. My relapsing remitting multiple sclerosis. For years I have been tired. For years I joke about remembering the big picture, but never the details. Juggling too many balls, send me an email so I don’t forget/put it in the diary/delegate it to the right person/so I can have time to consider and get back to you.

That wasn’t good enough for you. You upset me. You were hurtful. And you will never know how much. You have moved to sunny Perth, retired and have moved on. 

I am here, still mitigating my career with work arounds, so no one, not even you, know my dirty little secret. I am living with RRMS.